Susie and Deshan got married at Selden Barns on Saturday, and they did it twice in one afternoon — a civil ceremony in the ceremony barn at three o’clock with the Sussex registrars, then a Sri Lankan Poruwa under the oak pergola outside. Two ceremonies, two sets of traditions, and not much of a gap between them. Days like that are a gift to photograph.
The civil ceremony
The barn at Selden is an easy room to work in. Timber overhead, light coming in from the side rather than straight down, and a short aisle — which means you’re never far from the couple and never in anyone’s way. The registrars ran it the way Sussex registrars usually do: warm, quick, no fuss. Vows, rings, signing, done.
Susie wore a saree from Colombo for the ceremony, and it’s the kind of thing that changes how you shoot a room. Colour like that against old timber does half the work for you.
A Poruwa under the oak pergola
Then everyone moved outside to the oak pergola for the Poruwa — the traditional Sri Lankan ceremony, held on a decorated platform.
If you haven’t seen one, it’s a beautiful thing to witness and a genuinely lovely thing to photograph. The couple step onto the Poruwa, betel leaves are offered to their parents and elders as a mark of respect, the couple’s little fingers are tied together with thread and water is poured over the knot, and blessings are sung and given while it happens. It’s ritual with real movement in it — hands, thread, water, elders stepping forward — and everything meaningful happens in close, which suits the way I shoot anyway.
There were Kandyan dancers and a drummer out on the lawn as well, which is not something a Sussex barn sees on an average Saturday afternoon. Then a stand of little gold pots, which Susie and Deshan filled with milk one after another while the drum kept going. Guests who’d never seen any of it before were watching properly — phones down, actually watching.
Two ceremonies in an afternoon is a lot to ask of a couple, and it’s a lot to ask of the light. The pergola held up. So did they.
Family, flown in from everywhere
The group shots after the Poruwa were the part of the day that mattered most, and not for the usual reasons. Between them, Susie and Deshan had family over from the USA and from Sri Lanka as well as the Sussex contingent — a set of people who almost never stand in the same field at the same time. So we took our time. Groomsmen, bridesmaids, the full wedding party, immediate family on both sides, and then as many of the wider combinations as we could get through while everyone was in one place and still looking their best. Cousins included. Those are the frames that end up printed and posted halfway round the world.
Their baby boy, for his part, slept through most of the afternoon — good manners or bad timing depending on how you look at it — so there are only a handful with him in. Enough, though.
Susie changed into a Free People dress for the evening, hair and makeup by Gemma Souter, flowers by Suice Floral, and Deshan in Marc Anthony.
Drinks, dinner and a cake worth mentioning
Drinks outside, then the wedding breakfast in the barn. The cake was from M&S, which Susie told me with the confidence of someone who had made exactly the right call. Nobody at a wedding has ever eaten a slice of cake and asked for provenance. It looked good, it tasted good, and it meant the budget went on the things that actually needed it.
Ten minutes at sunset
Susie and Deshan had asked in advance for a few shots at sunset after the wedding breakfast, which is exactly the sort of thing worth flagging early — mid-September light doesn’t wait around, and ten minutes stolen at the right moment beats half an hour at the wrong one. We slipped out while everyone was still at the tables, got what we needed, and had them back before anyone noticed they’d gone.
The evening
Dipesh from Tailor Made Beats took over for the evening and filled the barn, and the dancefloor didn’t empty until it had to.
A good day
Susie and Deshan — thank you for having me, and for trusting me with two ceremonies in one afternoon. Your families were a pleasure from start to finish.
Their gallery was online the next day. A full wedding usually takes me a week, but this one came together quickly — and with family flying back to the States and to Sri Lanka, there was every reason to get the photographs in front of everyone while they were all still talking about the weekend.
Barrie
Thinking about Selden Barns?
I’ve photographed a few weddings at Selden now, including Ella and Gaal’s spring wedding under the same pergola — worth a look if you’re weighing the venue up. There’s more on how I work there on my Selden Barns wedding photography page, and if you’re looking at Sussex barns generally, Southend Barns near Chichester and Mannings Heath are both regular haunts.
And if your day involves a civil ceremony plus a cultural one, that’s familiar ground — I photograph a lot of two-ceremony weddings, and the planning conversation is always the same one: where, when, and how much time between them. Get that right and the day looks after itself.
The day in detail
Venue: Selden Barns, Selden Lane, Patching, Worthing, West Sussex
Ceremonies: Civil ceremony in the ceremony barn with the Sussex registrars, followed by a Sri Lankan Poruwa under the oak pergola
Saree: Colombo, Sri Lanka
Evening dress: Free People
Groom’s attire: Marc Anthony
Flowers: Suice Floral
Hair & makeup: Gemma Souter
Cake: M&S
Music: Dipesh — Tailor Made Beats
Photography: Barrie Downie Photography
